I apologize for the radio silence, Notes-From-the-Coasters! It’s been a while since my last post and I know all three of my readers have been chomping at the bit to see how my sub-standard training/living life thing is going. Thanks, Dad and Mom and random stranger from Pennsylvania!
So let’s start with good news! Injury Report Update!
Achilles Heel
Virtually pain-free. I can flex it, point my toes with it, walk on it, and swivel it. It works so well I’m convinced someone performed bionic surgery on me in my sleep….uh, honey?
Knees
The apricot-sized swelling that my meniscus so kindly produces any time I exert any physical energy has gone down considerably to the point where they look like normal knees. Normal knees!
Hip
Went from constantly screaming for Vicodin and a heating pad down to a mild murmur stifled by wine and good conversation.
So, overall a remarkable improvement from where I was a mere few weeks ago! What, pray tell, could bring on this turnabout of non-painful events?
Accupuncture? Massage? Massive amounts of painkillers? Blood doping?
Nope.
Laziness. Lethargy. “Couch Butt” as my favorite Finnish Aunt would refer to it. I’ve been doing a whole bunch of nothing. My most strenuous activity has been hauling up Target bags full of Halloween decorations from my car to the front door or uncorking a bottle of Cabernet.
I know. I’m as shocked and dismayed as you are.
A sedentary lifestyle seems to agree with my joints and tendons. Evidently, they like being lazy. My shins would agree that they could happily sit around watching episodes of Chopped and Dexter ‘til the cows come home. They apparently have no fear of atrophy.
See, I had a birthday last week. And nothing throws a good workout routine off kilter like, uh, a reason. Any reason, really. But my birthday served as a damn good one.
As we get older, we come to understand that our birthdays change. They aren’t celebrated with the same verve and glee as when we were, say, seven years old. But, even though there was no Faygo Red Pop, or pool party, or silly string or homemade cake with Betty Crocker Milk Chocolate Frosting, it was still one of the best birthdays I’ve had…which magically turned into a week, plus a day or two.
I am still so in love with all of my people. From the ones I’ve known all my life, to the more recent additions, I say thank you for giving me the best gift a girl can have: an excuse not to work out. I love you all.
So, now that the party, the afterglow and the hangover are over, it’s time to get back to business. As much as my body parts would prefer I remain slothful and lazy, my stupid heart is just aching to get going again. So long, Couch Butt. It’s time to get in the pool. Or on the bike. Or on the treadmill.
Onward.