This week is “Screen Free Week” for my little family. Charlotte, our resident first-grader, came home and announced, with a surprisingly amount of glee, that Ms. Ladd (her teacher) instituted a ban on all TV watching. Additionally, we could not play on our iPhones, iPads or computers unless it was work-related. At the end of the week, Charlotte gets a certificate. That explains the glee.
What the fuck.
Sure, on the surface this sounds like a good idea. We don’t need TV! We can play games, talk, read! Not surprisingly, most parents are happy to follow this Draconian order because they feel it’s the kick in the pants they need to get their kid weaned off the truly mind-melting shows on Disney Channel and Nickelodeon. Which speaks to a larger truth: These parents already feel guilty.
The school uses that emotional truth as a tactic to get families to comply. They dangle a worthless certificate in front of the first-graders and they dangle shame in the faces of the adults. Smart. You don’t expect psychological warfare from a first grade teacher.
Charlotte also brought home a ‘helpful’ page full of stats meant to be informational:
‘Time children spend watching commercials per year: 256 hrs”
“Time children spend having meaningful conversation with their parent per year: 38 minutes.”
Oh, please. 38 minutes might be accurate because kids don’t like meaningful conversations. They want to talk about boogers and candy and farting in the tub. It’s really not that fascinating.
But the real issue here is that the school is trying to “parent” our kids. During school, they can put my kid through calisthenics, math quizzes and ban all TV forever in the class room if they want. But the minute my kid leaves that schoolyard, they are not allowed to tell me what to do and how to spend time with my kid. It’s one step too far.
You don’t see me barging in to classrooms telling the teacher how to properly teach kids multiplication. That’s because she’s better at it than I am. And parents deserve the same respect.
At the very least “Screen Free Week” is intrusive and bossy. But at it’s most offensive, it’s insulting to parents because it assumes that the parent already allows way too much TV.
The truth is, it’s 2012. Technology is an integral part of our lives. We cannot fool ourselves into believing it’s 1955 again. And who would want to?? Not all TV is bad. TV can be educational, informative, opinion-changing and truly moving. We have learned a lot from the shows we watch. Especially when we’re not tuned to Disney or Nickelodeon.
Cutting back on TV and finding other ways to spend time with your kids is a good idea. But let parents get there on their own. The point can be made with a more moderate request, for instance, to ask families to try one “Screen Free Night” every week.
But then again, I still say it’s an infringement on my civil rights. I went through elementary, high school and college. I’ve earned my god-given right to watch “Chopped” any time I fucking want to. And I can be a good parent at the same time.
Once parents get over their guilt, they’ll feel the same way.
Now, where’s the remote?
P.S. The fact that this ban happened during the NBA playoffs has in no way added to the vitriol of this post. But Ms. Ladd can suck it.